You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
