she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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