Have you finally orgasmed yet?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize