i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I think I am morally bankrupt
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
