Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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