I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
