oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
