Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
