i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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