Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
