I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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