I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
birth control should be required to get into college
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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