After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You ruined the universe
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
