There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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