While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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