when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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