Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
