can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
