I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
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I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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