Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
