Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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