when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
