I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
