Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
