Kareoke will never be a sober sport
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
