You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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