At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
