Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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