I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
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Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
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I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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