She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
