They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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