Umm I'm too high to move.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
How naked do you want me to be?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
