the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize