he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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