i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
