just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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