Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
