dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
