I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
