dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just want to make out with him forever
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
