He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
