Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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