Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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