I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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