we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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