Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
How does one acquire holy water?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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