He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
