Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
