The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
