I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
