Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dignity is for republicans.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
