did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
