She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
