you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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