Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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