Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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