I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So much Jack, so little girl.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
