He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
