You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
