She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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