The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize