why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
