I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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